watch what you say
by bashfulbabe
Summary: Back again with another Hiei/Kuwabara... If you've read my stories, then you know I suck at summerys but rock at stories. It is rated M for later chaps (you all know why) I can't write a summary... Just read and enjoy..
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Another Hiei/Kuwabara story…. I have yet to finish the other one, but this idea has been in my head for a while… I do not know how long it will be, but here is the first chapter… I hope you all enjoy… on to the story my ducklings… oh and side note… I do not own and never have.

Humans are idiotic. I am babysitting the oaf again while the fox and detective try to sense the enamys spirit energy. I would rather not be with the oaf, but the fox has been trying to get in the detectives pants. And of all the places for the ringleader to be hiding, why must it be this.. mall place. So many humans in a confinded place. Several of those inferior beings together. Holding hands. The majority being heterosexual, though I do notice one set holding hands, both male. They are getting odd looks.

"Kuwabara." He looks to me. I am only curious, otherwise I would not be asking him a question. "Why is that couple getting odd looks." He looks where I'm motioning.

"Well, yea. Gays aren't always welcome in our culture."

"That's stupid."

"It's just not accepted."

"Are you one of the ones that don't accept it?" It's just a question. Mostly curiousosity, but I have to know. He always speeks highly of his honor code.

"Honestly I never really thought about it. It just isn't normal." That word. I've always hated that word…normal.

"What exactly is your definition of normal?" Am I board, is that why I'm asking, or do I really just want to know.

"Well, normal is when something is the same as everything or everyone else."

"Then normal is bad."

"Well, actually normal would be good. It would be bad to be different." I know that I'm bad. That's fine. But everyone else has saved this world countless times. They are all different. Even Kuwabara is different than 'normal' humans. Would he be bad.

"That is stupid."

"Just how it is."

"And who sets the standards for normal. I know I didn't have a vote in it."

"Just society."

"So, there are different sets of normal."

"Well, I guess that'd be right." He looks confused. Good.

"What sets of rules that govern normal do you go by. The human ones that would suggest that you are bad, or the demon ones that claim you to be good." He thinks for a minute.

"What's with you shorty, you seem to be different today." That word. I've always hated that word… Different.

"Answer the question."

"Well, I guess it'd be neither. I'm never going to be fully accepted right? I'm not a demon, so demons will look down on me," It's true, at one time, even I thought him beneath me, "and I have high spirit awareness, that certainly wouldn't be considered normal amoung most humans." That is also true. I never put much thought into him plight. "I guess, if I had to go by someones rules, It would be my own. I do not think there is anything wrong with me. I'm how I should be. As long as I can look in the mirror and like myself, who cares what others think?" I don't look at him. Am I actually shocked. I have to know. As I watch that same couple show love to each other dispite the crule looks… I have to know.

"What of me."

"What about you?"

"Would I be considered normal by your standards." Is that my heartbeat. I think it's pounding. Am I ill.

"Well, there isn't anything wrong with you. And even though I wasn't sure about you at first- you know considering that you tried to kill lots of people- you're pretty kind. And you seem to care about us-though sometimes reluctantly. Why wouldn't I consider you normal?" He's not really asking me, and even if he were, I don't have to answer… but I have to.

"I've always been different. From birth, I was shuned due to being different. I guess I just wanted to be sure I was accepted… that I was normal." I think I hear him chuckle.

"Is that what all this was about."

"Mostly."

"They look sweet." I look up at him and he smiles down at me. "They don't seem bothered that everyone is stairing, just that they are happy to be together. That all that really matters when you love someone." He's right. They don't seem to care. They don't seem to even notice.

"I think I love you Kuwabara." He looks shocked for a moment, but I don't care. I see the fox and detective up ahead and I rejoin the groups.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: back again… I would like to apologize…. Normally I correct any noticeable mistakes and proofread…. But I forgot before I posted the last chapter…. And I am to lazy to fix it… However… I am working on chapter two…. So please read and enjoy… Read and enjoy my sweet ducklings.

I don't give Kuwabara time to accept or deny. It doesn't matter. I do not plan to be with him. Just as he does not plan to be with me. I have seen how he talks to Yukina. Since my outburst I have not been alone with him. The mission was finished and I went back to the forest close to genkai's.. Yukina stays with the old lady which makes keeping an eye on her easy. Genkai doesn't mind me being near and Yukina hasn't noticed. That's good. This should be the extent of our relationship. She will be safe at arms length. The fox and detection occasionally come to visit those two, Kurama teases me from afar saying that if they could find me they would invite me. He knows where I am. Kuwabara comes often. He is quite fond of Yukina. Another reason he shouldn't know that I'm her brother. He will harm her while trying to help her. If she knew of me, she would only feel sadness. It is safer for her at arms length.

They go for walks and when he is by her side I feel confidant that she will be kept safe. At those times I go and talk with the old lady. She is good about not asking questions and just teaching me how to build my strength. When I since then growing closer, I always leave. It is safer that way. On one such occasion she stops.

"Stop being a coward."

"I'm not." But I know I am. She doesn't let me go. They are getting closer. By know Kuwabara has sensed my energy. If I flee he will know. She realses my arm and I sit in my former seat and wait for them to enter. I am not waiting long.

"Hello Hiei." Yukina bows to me and I bow back. Kuwabara smiles at me.

"Hiei, it's been weeks, where have you been hiding."

"Hn."

"I've been wanting to talk to you." Both of them say at the same time. I look at Yukina. Hers will be much easier to deal with.

"I understand that you have mastered the Jagon eye, I know that it can hold lots of powers, and I was wondering. I still have had no luck finding my brother. You would be capable of locating him for me." She's right. I could. It would be ridiculous since I know where he is, but If he weren't me, I could. I could seek out him mother's tear gym, it would take time, but I could. She knows I could. I can not lie to her about the capabilities of the Jagon, but I can not tell her the truth.

"That would take an extensive amount of energy, that I do not have." She nods. Good. That's the end of it.

"Can't you just absorb some of my energy." Shit. Stupid Oaf. "I don't really need the excess energy right now, there isn't a mission going on and the time to take advantage of that would be now." I cawn't refuse Yukina, but I can't tell her the truth.

"I will try to locate him, but do not get your hopes up." She smiles happily and thanks me. I do not wont to be around the oaf for such a length of time, but I have already agreed. Does he even realize how much time we will have to be around each other. I will give it two weeks of attempting to locate the brother that will never be found. I wish she could have a relationship with the brother she wonts, but I like many times in my life would only let another person down.

"So when are we going to do this thing?"

"I will need a place where I can concentrate for long periods of time." He nods.

"Okay, then my place it is."

"We can start tomorrow, tonight I will need to prepare a few things." And I leave without saying good by to my sister.

I get to his place early. He's still asleep so I take the tree close to his window. It will be the first time I've been alone with him since I told him that I love him. He didn't look at me weird yesterday, so that's good. I do love him. I do not know what made me come to that conclusion. I simply did. And that conclusion is completely accurate. The sun is beginning to rise higher in the sky. I will not wake him. It's not that I'm nervious, but how will I carry out this lie. I detest lieing, but how else can I pull this off. If Kuwabara finds out, he will surely tell Yukina. And if she finds out then I will truly have nothing. My kind sister will have to face the fact that the good older brother she is seeking is actually a tempermental arrogant –though rightfully- ex felon. I do not wont her to look at me in shame.

He's stirring. I'll give him an hour before I disturb him. The window curtain is closed tightly, but I open my Jagon eye. Yes, he is defiantly awake, though seems he's reluctant to get out of bed. Yes, I'll give him an hour. I close my jagon. I can hear him moving around. He's talking outloud.

"I love you too Hiei."

Holy Shit.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Happy New Years and on to chapter three. I am currently unsure of how many chapters this will be.. I just write until I feel it's the end. Thank you to my loyal reader, I hope my stories just keep getting better. On to the story my ducklings.

I know. He doesn't know that I know. But I know. How do I look at him without him knowing that I know. I heard him, but he doesn't know. I was content. Let my affections be unrequited, I can do that. I am use to caring about others from afar. Watching others live their life. I'm a watcher. An observer. I do not live the life I watch. A sister desperately searching for a brother. And now this. I can't let him know. Would he wish to live his life with me. I can't do it. I must stay distant. I will not go to him today. I will disappear –seemingly. I will stay close to ensure his and my sisters happiness and safety. By the time I reemerge they will both forget. He will forget his temporary affections. And she will forget my promise.

I can't. I can't leave. I can't stay. I can't.

He's pacing. Wondering where I am. I can't go to him. He will see it on my face. This unsettling feeling. Happiness mixed with anxiety and fear. I've felt this before. Yes. If I just can get the motivation to leave, the feeling will go away. I can return to the numbness of before. That safe feeling. Stay detached. I will be fine. Stay calm.

I open my Jagon eye. He's sitting on his bed. Eyes closed. When he opens his eyes he stares at the closed window curtain. He's coming close to it now. I have to move. But I feel paralyzed. Why can't I move. If he opens it, he will see me. He doesn't pull back the curtain. He stands calmly. I can't breathe. I will be safer if I move.

"I'm not going to hurt you Hiei." The voice is even. Calm. A hint of affection taints the detached words. "Come on in." And he pulls back the fabric wall between us. He opens the window and locks eyes. I can't move. Not to run or go to him. "Don't run." He leans over the window. If I leaned forward he could reach me. "Let me reach you." It's a gentle command. And my body moves on that command. When I am arms reach away, he grabs me. I don't resist. My instincts tell me to run. But he holds me securely. I should say something, it's not until he sits me on the edge of his bed when I find my voice.

"How did you know I was out there?"

"I've gotten stronger over the years Hiei, now if I concentrate, I can read a person's mind, provided I know them. Subconsciously people observe their surroundings- you do it more than most people- so I knew where you were." So if he concentrates he can look into my mind. Shit.

"You are never to look into my mind again." What's this feeling. "They are personal and not for your knowing." Fear. Shame. At any point he can read the thoughts that even I try to avoid.

"Hiei."

"No. Do not ever think that you are allowed inside of my mind. Stay out of my mind and away from me." I keep my voice even. Do not think. Just act. I will leave out the window. If I act fast he won't be able to stop me.

"What will you tell her." His unaffected voice catches me off guard. Why isn't he raising his voice. He always has. "Are you always going to run away from people that just want to have you. She wants her brother. No matter what kind of person he is or was, she just wants him in her life. We both know that iff he's out there you could find him, she knows that as well. So what will you tell her."

"He's dead." If he no longer exists then she will stop searching. She will be sad… for a while. But eventually she will move on. But if she learns the truth, she will never be happy again.

"He's not dead. Just broken and fragile."

"Will you tell her. About me?"

"No. But if you truly love her like I know you do, then eventually you will." I feel cold.

"I cannot tell her because I do love her." I look again at the window. I can make it. I'm on my feet and preparing to increase my speed. I'm nearly to the window when his arm reaches out. When I shake the shock from my head I realize that I'm on top of him. His hands firmly grabbing my theighs.

"You aren't going to run. And even if you did, I'd find you."

"I could keep running."

"I'll keep finding you. I'll never stop. I knee him in his gut, but he just takes it and restrains me further. "You will not get free. I refuse to let you go until you promise that you won't run." I struggle harder. "Go on, keep fighting it. I'm personally enjoying this position." Stupid oaf.

"I thought that you were into girls." My fighting is futile, but I have never been one to give in.

"I am."

"Well, in case you were to dense to notice, I'm a guy."

"I know. In my society, I would be known as a pansexual. It doesn't matter what sex a person is. I do not desire you because you are a male, I desire you because you are you. And I always will. I will not forget my desire to have you." He smirks at me. "I was not going to woo you just yet, I was going to give you some time until I thought you were ready to be shown affection. The other day when you said that you love me, I knew I had to act even if you aren't ready." I've stopped struggling. "Consider this your warning, if you run, I will chase you. For however long until I have you." He releases me. "And believe me Hiei, I will have you."

I run.

Authors Note: Look for chapter 4 to be up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: I do realize that these chapters are fairly short… I am making It up to all of you by posting chaps more often. On to chapter four… Eventually there will be a lemon I will mark it before and after. Will it be in this chapter… who knows… because I do not…. Onward my ducklings….

I have went from park to forests- running everywhere. I was going to stop by Kurama's place, but the detective was there. I am not so nieve to not realize Kurama's intention, so I left there as well. I'm use to being alone. So why does it sting and leave me feeling empty. Kuwabara's voice occasionally enters my mind then I run again.

'what are you running from.' The voice sounds close. It's time to move again. 'Do you think that I will hurt you.' I kick off of branches. I have to keep moving. 'Why are you panicking?'

"Get out of my mind!"

'Just as soon as you let me in your life.' I feel like pray. No, Kuwabara would never hurt me. I don't think he would. No, he wouldn't. It would go against his honor code. Then why am I running? 'Why are you running? What fears do you have.' I change locations again. Now I'm close to a lake. The water is sparkling and clear. I will rest here for a moment. 'Let me in Hiei.' I have to block him out. I let my hands cover my head, but I still hear his voice. This fear.

I just rock back and forth. Why am I so afraid. What's this fear. I feel like I can't breathe. It's so cold.

"How long will you run Hiei." Shit. How did he find me so quickly. "I will keep chasing you until you are mine. I want you Hiei, and I know you want me."

"Maybe I don't want you." I can't look at him. How long has it been since I've stopped to rest.

"Four days. It's been four days since you left my room." He's stepping closer. I should run. 'you should stay.' I wrap my arms tighter around myself, but it doesn't warm me up. "Just tell me what you are afraid of."

"Is that all you want."

"For starters, yes. What scares you so much that you have to run from me." Why am I scared? He's right behind me. His arm is snaking around me. His hand firmly grabbing my chin. My back is against his chest. This is to close. To intimate an action.

"What are you doing." I mean to sound menacing, but he smiles at me.

"I'm going to kiss you." I don't struggle. The movement of his lips hypnotize me. I can feel his warm breath against my face. Something inside of my chest is pounding. His wet tongue trails across my bottom lip. His nose brushes against mine. I just realize that his hand is holding my chin close to him.

"I've never been wanted before."

"Well, you are now." I can't take my eyes from his lips. I've never been kissed before. He pulls back for a moment shock all over his face. Shit. I push him off.

"Stay out of my mind."

"I can't. Your mind screams thoughts so loud that I can't block it." He pushes me back against the grassy field. "And I don't want to leave your mind. It's the only way I can understand what you are feeling." His hand is on my lower abdomen. I don't feel ill will, but his eyes are determined. "You are so fragile, I want to know what cause that in you, so that I can end your doubts. The sooner you stop running, the sooner you let me in, I can show you how happy you can be." He doesn't give me a chance to resist, his lips connect to mine. The kiss heats my body as his tongue slides between my lips. When did I close my eyes. What's this stirring feeling. This heat deep inside of me. I barely register that his lips have left mine when he picks me up.

"Where are you taking me." I'm so tired.

"We are just going to take a nap against the tree. Even you need sleep after a while." I wont to protest, but his arms feel warm around me. "You can run away again after you sleep for a little bit. But you need rest. After that we can get back to our game of chase."

"So you haven't caught me yet?"

"Nope, not until you willingly come to me." He's propped against the tree, I'm lying on his chest. One arm lays against my back, he's not restraining me.

"You just followed me to make sure I'd go to sleep."

"Not entirely, I also wanted that kiss. But you were so determined to run that I knew you wouldn't stop to rest. Now hush shorty, and try to sleep."


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: Back again with more Hiei/Kuwabara lovin.. let's on waste time.. Enjoy my ducklings.

You'll always be alone. Do you really think anyone will ever want you. You're a pathetic imiko. You will always be unloved. It's a dream. I know it's a dream. But it's real and honest and raw in emotion. I try to shake the thoughts. To wake myself up. But those words keep repeating. It's raining. I can feel the water drip down my face. It's cold at first then warms when it connects to me. It splashes on my closed lids and I let my eyes open.

I'm laying against the tree. How long have I been asleep.

It's not raining. Where is that water coming from.

"So, sleeping beauty's finally awake." Kuwabara is in the water. A pile of clothes neatly folded beside me. "Care for a swim. The water feels great." I can't swim. So I don't get up.

"It's not deep." Looks like the bastard is still infiltrating my mind. "I'm sure you could touch the bottom as long as you don't go to far out." I don't get up. "Relax, you can keep your boxers on, I did." Boxers? Oh yeah. That's the undergarments that humans wear. I don't wear any undergarments. "Even better. Come on." I don't move He starts walking out of the water. His undergarments are soaked, his entire body is dripping water. His chest is broad- a few scars that I never noticed before. He's masculine. And something about that is a turn on. The water sliding down his muscles is hypnotizing and I can't help the quieted moan of need. I'm not use to desiring someone. When he smirks at me I knock the thoughts from my head.

"Get the hell out of my mind."

"I can't, I enjoy hearing your thoughts, they are cute." He grabs me and I'm pressed against his slick chest. I don't struggle. But I don't grab on to him either. He's walking back to the water. When did I start thrashing around. If he drops me I really can't swim. "I'm not going to drop you. Trust me. It's fun to play in water."

"I don't want to play in the water. Damn it Kuwabara, let me go." I can feel water on my back. He's waste deep in.

"Are you sure you want me to let you go." Stupid jerk. He's toying with me.

"Bring me back to the tree." He steps further in the water. The water is now up to his chest. I'm shoulders deep in. If he lets me go, I won't be able to reach. I don't like this.

"I'm not going to let you go. Just relax. The water feels nice doesn't it." He's smiling at me. I don't trust people. I'm not use to it. His arm is holding me up, It's not wavering. I know he wouldn't. I know he wouldn't. Just relax. The water does feel nice. And I'm perfectly safe. Kuwabara would never let any harm come to any of his friends. And I suppose we are friends. He chuckles. Get out of my mind.

'Can't do that sweetstuff. Your mind just screams for me to be in it.'

"I don't know how to be part of someone's life." The words are blunt and I don't realize I'm speaking before they are all off.

"Is this about me or about Yukina."

"Neither. Both. We are taught how to love from the ones that raise us. I was raised by bandits. Love is not what they were known for. Affection, being cared for. Those are not norms in my life. If allowed to be a part of either yours or Yukina's life, I will only harm you, and leave you both feeling empty."

"Hiei, I have a confession. I was not going to tell you because I didn't think you are ready to know. You still may not be ready to know. But I can see how afraid you are about her finding out."

"What are you getting on about?"

"Yukina already knows that you are her brother."


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: In case it's not previously mentioned… there will be course language. Let's not waste time my ducklings.

I can't stop this anger.

"What the fuck do you mean she already knows." I don't care if he drops me. My knee connects with his abdomen. "You told her. What gives you the right to tell her. It's not your place." He doesn't let me go.

"I didn't tell her. And neither did the others. She found out on her own."

"How long has she known?" I can't breathe. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't breathe.

"Since the dark tournament." That was years ago. "Yukina and I get along because we have one key thing that we share. We both care about you. Yukina told me that she suspects you to be her brother, and when looking at the facts, it's pretty obvious that you are. She's tried to give you numerous chances, but she knew that you weren't ready for her to know."

"She can't know." When did my face get wet. "She can't know."

"Hiei, I don't see the problem. She knows, but she still cares about you. That's why I wanted to tell you." His hand is in my hair. It's soothing, but I can't calm down. "It's okay Hiei." When did he pull me this close. When did I lay my head on his shoulder. When did I stop fighting him. "I know this is scary for you. Your so use to just chasing people away by acting like you don't care about them. But for the people that see through those lies, we care about you. Yukina understand why you haven't told her. And I understand why you keep running."

I'm too tired to fight. "Kuwabara, I don't know how to face her."

"You don't have to face her yet. She doesn't know that I told you. You can hide it for as long as you want. You can tell her that you couldn't find her brother and she won't press the issue."

"That's why you offered to give me your excess energy, because you didn't want me to back out."

"Maybe I just wanted you to be forced to spend time with me. Maybe it was purely selfish reasons."

"Do you really think that I'm good enough to be part of her family" Soft lips are pressed against the top of my head.

"Of course Hiei. She loves you. We both do." His body is warm. I like it. I don't feel like fighting.

"Kuwabara."

"Yes shorty?"

"Can I stay with you."

"That's fine with me, but shouldn't you get back to running."

"No. I'm done running." He kisses me again. When did we get out of the water. He sets me down on the ground and redresses himself. I'm so tired. But I just slept. He picks me up again, and I let him. At some point on the way back to his house I fall asleep. I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed in my entire life.

How long have I been asleep. I'm in a bed. I've never slept in a bed in my life. The only opportunity I've ever had was during the dark tournament, and at that point I felt more comfortable in trees. But this bed is different from those fluffy well-kept beds. This is most defiantly Kuwabara's bed. It has his smell. That entirely masculine scent. I like it. The scent is coming from more than the bed. The clothes I am wearing are not mine. They are baggy and threaten to fall off at any movement.

"You look like a little kid wearing my clothes." Bastard.

"Why exactly and I not wearing my own clothes."

"They were wet, I didn't want you to get sick."

"So you stripped me without my permission." It doesn't completely bother me.

"You were to cute to wake up. Now eat." He shoves food at me. It's some weird goop. It reminds me of the mushed innards of demons.

"So no oatmeal then, well there are a thousand other foods that we can go through until I'v figured out what you'll eat. I lift the spoon experimentally and watch as the goop plops back with the rest of its kind. Most unappetizing. But I have ate far worse. I don't eat much, but it's enough to put some food in my stomach. "I bet you'd like sweets." I haven't done much eating for pleasure. Merely necessity. He's smiling at me. "My pjs really do look cute on you." The sleeves go way past my hands, he rolled the pants legs up, but I know that if I tried to walk in them, I'd probably trip. I don't mind. As I already told him, I'm tired of running, and it's obvious that he would continue to chase me.

"You will not tell her." It's a statement. I know he wont, but I still have to put it in words.

"I will not tell her that you know that she knows. But, just like with me. She will not just forget, eventually you will have to come to terms with that." He laughs for a moment. And shakes his head. "It's funny. You've faced countless large monsters, and you show no fear, but the thing you do fear is a small girl."

"Do not mock me."

"Calm down small fry. It's not meant as an insult. I mean, she must mean the world to you."

"All the words and combined." The words come out easy. They aren't lies. Just words I've refused to admit to. "She represents what was taken from me. A place to belong. If she does not accept me, then I will truly be alone." He sits next to me. The bowl is moved to the side. His hand on my back pushes me where my head is laying in his lap. It's comfortable.

"She knows about you, and still she's trying to 'find' her brother. I do not think that means she will shun you. But let's say she does. You still wouldn't be alone. Kurama, Yusuke, me. We will always have your back. It's not your style to ask for help, but if you did- or ever do- you can bet not just one of us, but all of us will come to your aid." My chest aches. His hand is stroking my hair. Is this what it feels like to be comforted. I like it.

"You care about Yukina as well." He nods to himself.

"She was sort of like my first love. We weren't on the best of terms at that time, because I was sure you hated me. I thought you were cold and cruel, but as time passed, I learned your most well kept secret."

"What secret is that?"

"That you are," He pauses. But I don't mind. I enjoy just listening to him talk. "warm. Hiei, seriously. You are really warm." His voice shows concern. But I'm to calmed to care. "are you sick." He's feeling my forhead through the cloth that covers my Jagon. It makes a whimper leave my thought. Even covered. That is such a vital point. "And your cheeks are flushed." I push myself off of him. I really don't feel well. I stand up and dizziness overtakes me.

"Hiei, maybe you should lie back down." My hand flies to my mouth. Shit. This isn't going to be pretty.

"Bathroom." The words are barely out of my mouth before I hear my faraway voice. "I'm going to be sick." Then I lose the contents of my stomach all over my borrowed clothes.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note:…. Forget the authors note… Hiei's sick… read you must my ducklings… I don't own.

Good by dignity. Good by self-respect. Hello regurgitated human slop. I still feel like shit. And Kuwabara is trying to care for me. Just leave me alone. I don't want to be seen like this.

"If I can't be with you when you're down, then I have no business being with you with your at your best." I debate of telling him to leave my mind. But I lost interest in caring. I'm more preoccupied in keeping the remaining contents down. I'm losing. This time he actually manages to get me to the bathroom. I don't think about the unsanitariness of sticking my head so close to the toilet. What the hell. I'm already covered in puke, what's more filth. After I'm done I lay my head on the cold tiled floor. I just realized that Kuwabara is rubbing my back. He probably has for a while. I'm to tired to think.

The top is being unbuttoned. I debate on stopping him to do it myself, but I'm to tired to even do that simple action. The top is sheded, He locks eyes with me and I try to manage a half nod. Instead I close my eyes. I feel slightly better without that light. Cold tiles against my bare skin. So he's stripped me twice in the same day. Don't I feel lucky.

"I'm going to give you a bath Hiei." What am I, a pet. I have a say in whether I want to take a bath or not. And a bath sounds fantastic. Rushing water. Droplets hit my closed lids. I'm being lifted and placed in shallow water. A strange rag is dragged along my arms. Then my neck. It's a gentle action. I'm not worried, he will not harm me. Even though I cannot defend myself, I do not need to. My face is cleaned as well. My head feels so heavy. He's scratching the top of my head it's a strange feeling, but calming. The rag returns to my body. My legs. Feet. He scrubs longer on the bottom. I do not believe anyone has ever touched my feet. I don't think about this to long. I'm just trying to distract myself from the pounding in my head. I'm watching him. With my Jagon. He must have taken off the band.

The rag rubs close to the Jagon. He hold his hand close to keep stray water from going into it. I'm lifted and pulled against him. Doesn't he know that I'll get him wet. He doesn't seem to care. My back is scrubbed. He washes lower. He defiantly doesn't understand the idea of personal space. My genitals are washes as if it weren't some intimate act. But I do not feel wary of his intentions. I feel safe, and well taken care of. I allow myself to sleep.

I wake again in his bed. New clothes. These seem to fit me, though they are not my own. A strange taste in my mouth. I do not recognize it.

"I called Kurama, told him you were sit. He apparently had some old clothes and brought them. Then he gave you some medicine. Your fever has gone down a lot, but he says it could spring back up if we aren't careful." I've never felt that sick before.

"How did I get sick?" My voice sounds hoarse. And tired.

"Not sure yet, but Kurama is trying to find out. He said that if it got you sick then most of our friends could be in danger of the same thing. He thinks it might have been a bug from the last time you were in demon world." A yawn escapes his mouth.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days give or take a few hours. Kurama went home and told me to call him if your temperature changes drastically again." I sit up and he tiredly pushes me back down.

"No getting out of bed. Doctors' orders."

"Neither you nor Kurama is a doctor."

"Fine, then just don't get out of bed because I asked you not to."

"You should get some sleep." He looks at me skeptically. "If you don't, then I will be careing for you soon when you are bedridden." He rolls his eyes but does stand. I'm pushed over slightly, but then pulled to his chest. I'm comfortable. I don't mind his arm around me. It leaves me feeling secure. "Good night Kuwabara."

"Night, runt." Light snores echo off the walls not even a minute later. And as I'm coming to realize. I don't mind.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Okay.. fair warning.. Hiei is dangerously sick and is quite delusional in this chapter. So.. that is the root of his… different thoughts. Here it comes… Enjoy ducklings.

Three days. That's how long I've been sick. Two days and six hours. That's approximately the amount of time I've either been asleep or getting to know Kuwabara's toilet. I've learned that the toilet enjoys long walks in the sand and type A personalities. Pretty good guy. Not many would let me puke inside of them as many times as I have.

"Hiei, are you feeling any better?" He's asked me that every day. Not Kuwabara's toilet. Or Kuwabara. It's Kurama. He has done everything but moved in. He's always here. Forcing me to swallow strange substances. I laugh. And both of the guys look at me. That sounded kinky. Well makes sense. He is a fox. Not known to have one lover.

"Oh yea Kurama, I could defiantly stand not swallow those strange substances." I laugh again. Strange substances. It sounded kinky again. Nothing is lucid. And even reality at times seems bizarre. The fox said that, the medicine I'm taking will make me like this. Even though it's expected, I'm still not use to it. I do like that Kurama has brought me new clothes so that I don't have to either sit naked or in my own vomit. I'm still not use to being cared for though. I've woken up so many times to new clothes that I didn't put on and my hair slightly damp when I didn't bath myself. I try not to question it. In truth, I don't have enough strength to honestly care. The little energy I have is spent rushing to the bathroom before I sully Kuwabara's bed… again. Honestly. The bedding has already been washed twice.

I've given up on having dignity. I don't care. I'm fed like some kind of infant, and at times I feel as weak as one. Kuwabara spoons bland soups into my mouth and it's to the point where I just open my mouth without complaints, in the beginning I refused to be treated like a baby. I no longer care.

"He feels ice cold." Covers are folded over me, just ten minutes ago I was being stripped of my clothing because my body was to warm. This has started being a norm. He does what he feels is necessary while I just fade in and out of sleep.

"When fire apparitions get sick, the part of their body that regulates temperature nearly stops working, that is why it's so dangerous for Hiei to get sick." That bubbly feeling in my stomach returns and I'm tripping over my feet to get to the toilet in time. But just as I make it into the room my foot catches on my other foot and I go tumbling down. Do I make it. No. Have I just fallen deeper into the pit of pathetic grossness. Yes, I have. It irritates me. And I'm frustrated. And I'm angry. And it's most defiantly Kuwabara's fault.

"How is it my fault?" He's removing my clothes.

"You took me into the lake fully clothed."

"I've already asked Kurama if that could be it, and he says that there is no way a fire demon could get sick from that, he suspects that you caught a bug the last time you were in demon world." A slight need to feel modest comes over me, not that it matters. He pays no mind. His hair is like really curly. So curly.

Gotta touch it.

So curly.

"Hiei." Can't reach. Got to touch. "Kurama, his temperature has gone back up again."

"But. I want to." I'm whining. I don't care. He snickers slightly but leans down. It's so curly.

"Is another side effect of the medicine you're giving him less inhibitions? Because he's certainly not acting how he normally would." The fox responds to him. I pay no attention. I think I like curly hair. I touch it again. Yes, I do. I'm half paying attention as he places me in the bath tub. When did he run the water. It's really warm. It feels nice. He's washing me again. My eyes are closed, but my Jagon again is allowed to be open. That cloth rubs against my chest. How did I never notice how nice it feels. My neck is washed. It's relaxing. I like how gentle he is with me. I can tell how much he cares about me just by how gentle he is.

"mm" Shit. Did I make that sound. His hand doesn't slow. Maybe I imagined moaning. That has to be it. I close my Jagon eye. I'm to tired to keep it open. But I feel him wash me farther down. I know he will not take advantage of my exhaustion. So I fall asleep.

"I don't think I can hold back anymore Hiei." He's holding me. I can feel his erection against my theigh. It's arousing. His lips trail down my neck. It's to hot. I can't handle it. I'm not use to feeling this way. His lips are like fire going down my chest. His tongue tasting my heated skin. I can't stop the strangled moans. I don't want to stop them. How long have I been holding back this need. I've never let myself indulge in these actions. Damn, I've been missing something great.

"_Ahh Kazuma." Those lips. So hot around my arousal. Can't handle it. Sucking me. I can't stop thrusting. I need more, but I can't take anymore. It's not enough, but it's to much. "Kazuma please." I don't know what I'm begging for. Do I want more of this pleasure or for him to stop. I don't know. But those words keep echoing off of the walls. "Kazuma. Please." His hand grasp me and squeezes just as he sucks hard. I can't breath. My body is wracked with pleasure. And I can't stop my body's natural reaction to cum._

I shoot awake. Shit. Not good. Not good. He's looking at me. Blushing. Kuwabara's face is entirely red. He saw what I was dreaming. He saw.

"I didn't mean. I couldn't control. I don't." I don't know what to say. I don't know how to cover up my dream or the fact that I'm sitting in a puddle of my own lust.

"Shh." He smiles at me. "I'm starting to love your mind more and more." He kisses my forehead. "So let's get you cleaned up." He carries me back into the bathroom. The stains from my cum are extremely noticeable on my black pants. But he doesn't tease me. He just removes them while the water runs.

"I can bathe myself." He smiles.

"Okay, I'll be outside if you need me." He leaves with no resistance. I turn the handle and then half fall into the bath. That dream was so vivid. I could feel his lips around my member. Stupid dream. Stupid erection. How long has it been since I've pleasured myself. I've always tried to deny myself of these actions. But Damn it feels so good to touch myself. I half desire to indulge, but I know my thoughts are not private. It's embarrassing. He saw my dream. Where did those thoughts even come from. I grab the cloth from earlier. The feeling isn't as pleasurable as when Kazuma washes me. Shit. Kazuma. When did I start calling him that. I didn't. I don't. I shake the thoughts and wash farther down. My cum washes off fairly easily, and I'm ashamed to admit that my hand may have lingered longer than it should have while cleaning certain areas. I bite back the shutter. I don't feel as weak as I did earlier and my stomach isn't as queasy. My body aches just from the sores of not moving. I drain the water.

Shit. I don't have any clothes.

"Are you okay in there"

"Um, can you bring me some clothes." I hear him moving around and then the door opens. He looks at me a moment and then smiles darkly. He doesn't look away. "Did you know that you're really vocal in your sleep." The bastard. "Yea, you talk in your sleep." He's chuckling now. The jerk. He stops smiling. "Hiei." When did he get so close to me. "Don't look at me like that." His hand is on my cheek and I slap it away while grabbing the clothes. I turn so that I at least don't have to look at him. He grabs my wrist and pulls them down to my waist. "Hiei, I think it's cute." His lips connect to the base on my neck. I can't help that my breathing quickens. "I forget that this is new to you." His lips are soft against my jaw line. "You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about." His teeth graze my neck and my body half twitches in anticipation. "I wasn't going to press you into intimate actions so soon, because I wasn't sure you were ready." I'm breathing fast, but it's like I'm not getting any air. His hand is holding mine. My knees are shaking. I'd be afraid of falling if not for his arms holding me up.

"Kazuma." I didn't mean for my voice to sound so uncertain. His mouth is against my ear, I can hear his breathing. His hand leads my hand to my growing arousal. My fingertips graze over my sensitive body and I can't help but jerk slightly.

"What is it love." I forgot what I was going to say to him. His tongue trails around the rim of my ear before biting down on the lobe. As he does this I'm forced to squeeze myself. I'm pumping myself slow. This is torture. "What do you need Hiei." My name has never sounded so good as now. I want to give him an answer, but I don't know what to say. I don't know what I need. "Would you like for me to show you what you need?" The words make my breath hitch and I clinch my eyes shut as I nod as if I'm afraid to see the outcome of my decision. But he isn't overeager. His hand moves slow. I can feel him press against my back. He's aroused. Damn. Why do I find that a turn on. I half moan when I'm made to squeeze my cock again. He lifts me up with ease. The pajama bottoms that I was attempting to put on fall off my ankles and hit the ground. He doesn't notice. I'm laid gently on the bed face down. He whispers in my ear.

"Just relax shorty." My knees are still shaking. Maybe from anticipating. This will be the furthest I've ever gone. Not like I have done anything else. What if I'm not ready. What if I freak out half way through. I'm freaking out now. He doesn't seem to notice. His large hands kneed into my back with little force. "Shh relax, I promise I will be gentle. I'll go really slow." I don't remember if I nod or not. His open palm presses against my lower back for a few minutes, my breathing eventually evens out. His hand pulls away and when it's returned, I feel his wet fingers trace down my back before gently pressing against my entrance. I can't help my body tensing.

"Hiei, if you don't relax then I'm going to have to do something that will embarrass you even more." He attempts to finger me. I try to relax, but the thought of such an intimate action and I can't relax my body. He's laughing lightly. He's not mad. I'm glad he's not mad. "I did warn you Hiei." One of his hands lifts my hips where I'm on elbows and knees. His hand grabs my twitching member. "Don't be scared Hiei." I try to nod again. I focus on his hands holding me so firmly. I let myself relax a bit but I can't stop the half scream when his tongue presses inside of me. He doesn't seem deterred. In fact, he seems more determined. Fuck. His tongue is fucking me. I'm not use to this. His tongue darts deeper inside of me.

"Kazuma, please. Ahh." His hand is stroking me at the same pace that his tongue fucks my ass hole. It's to much. "Please, you have to stop. If you don't I'm going to cum again." I can't help but notice the other stain. My face feels so warm. But he doesn't stop. No. His movements become faster. A moment before I cum, his tongue stops and his hand squeezes me hard. Damn, I was so close. One of his fingers pushes inside of me before I can resist. He's thrusting his finger inside of me and just as I realize that I find it pleasurable he adds a second finger. "I can't take any more." It's a whimper. His lips kiss right below my ear.

"I'm not going to enter you until you can comfortably take four fingers." I try not to blush. I fail. "But please, if you have to cum, don't hold back. I wont you to feel good." Damn his voice is deep. I was so engrossed in his words that I didn't notice him scissoring his fingers inside of me. I like when he says those things to me. But it's embarrassing. His fingers press against something inside of me and I blush when I scream. It didn't hurt, quite to opposite. I can hear him chuckling.

"Could you… Never mind." I can't ask for that. Asking to much. His fingers still and he leans so close to me.

"Tell me what you would like Hiei." His voice leaves no room for refusal.

"Could you.. talk dirty. Please." I know he's shocked. Shit. I shouldn't have asked that. It was weird to ask for. He's just humoring me after all. I'm an imiko after all. I can't breathe. "No. I didn't mean." I can take it back. Maybe if I take it back it'll be okay.

"You're really lewd." His hand squeezes my dick. "Wanting something like that." He's kissing me. It's tender despite his words. His fingers have started thrusting into me again and he adds a third finger. It doesn't hurt bad, but I can't help but wince slightly. His fingers brush that spot again and I bite my lip suppressing the moan. "Don't quite yourself. I want to hear your pleasure when you feel good." For good measure he hits that spot inside me again. I whimper louder than I mean to. "Your sweet ass is so wet. Is it from when I fucked your ass with my tongue or are you really just that turned on." God his voice is deep and right in my ear. His fingers twirl inside of me. Driving me insane. "Your ass is sucking in my fingers. It's so tight. I bet you can't wait till my cock is inside of you." My cheeks heat up. He pushes a forth finger inside of me and I scream loudly. I didn't mean to.

"You make such sweet sound Hiei."

"Kazuma."

"What is it love."

"Please." I can say it. I can do it. I don't have to be ashamed of these words. Lust, desire, it's perfectly normal. I hate that word. His lips are kissing my jaw line and neck. He's always so gentle with me. "Please Kazuma, I want you inside of me." My eyes are clinched shut.

"You are unbelievably adorable." His fingers pull out of me one by one and I feel so empty until the head of his dick presses against my entrance. But he doesn't enter me. His hand lays against my abdomen for a brief moment before turning me over. I shut my eyes. I don't feel confident enough right now to look at him. I'm glad when he doesn't press the issue. All I have on is the fabric covering the Jagon eye. Relax. He's seen me naked multiple times. I can't keep from drawing my knees to myself. I hear rustling and I open one eye. He's looking right at me. His fingers are nimbly removing his clothing. The sight is to intimate to not arouse me. My face feels so warm. His pants drop and I clinch my eyes shut. Gods he's big. There's no way. No possible way. He's laughing warmly.

"Don't be afraid love, that's why I prepared you." I still can't open my eyes. "It really is your first time." It's said almost lovingly. He grabs my legs and lifts them until they are practically on his shoulders. This is kind of awkward due to my.. shortness. His hands are on my hips and he eases himself inside of me. He doesn't thrust. He stays perfectly still, but his hands are shaking. I know he won't hurt me. He pulls one of his hands away to uncover my Jagon, and then his hand returns lower. He squeezes my ass gently.

"I'm ready Kazuma." His lips tenderly connect to my forehead it tickles my jagon and it opens in response. I can feel his member throbbing inside of me. The Jagon intensifies my bodies reaction to everything. It doesn't matter that my eyes are clinched shut, I can clearly see his face slightly flushed. Gods he's masculine.

He's moving so slowly. It's agonizing. This is hell. Wonderful blissful hell. The pain mixes with pleasure and I don't know if I should scream from pain or from pleasure. I gasp when he pumps my leaking member. So fast.

"Let me hear you shorty." Damn that raspy voice. Damn the effect it has on me. I can't stop the groan or the whimpers. My sounds make him take me faster. "It's so hot and tight Hiei." I can't close my jagon eye. It's focused on him. Focused on how his loose curls are glued to his forehead from sweat. The smell of lust is intoxicating. His eyes are half lidded as he groans loudly. I'm to enthralled to feel any shame or modesty. That spot. He keeps hitting that spot.

"Kazuma." It's a gasp as my body gives in to it's need to cum. Half cries as my cock oozes my juices. I don't mean to clinch around his dick, but my body reacts of it's own accord and he cums deep inside of me with loud sounds of pleasure. I'm laid gently on my stomach. To tired to move. His arm lays over me and I'm pulled firmly against him.

"Your dirty again."

"Yeah, we can take a bath tomorrow, I'm tired." He's so warm against me. It's so unusual to be help, but I like it. A thought crosses my mind and I chase it away before it has time to form. His hand softly strokes my hip.

"You can ask me anything hiei, after all, your mine now." His nose is buried in my hair and it's comforting.

"Maybe, one of the times we," I think for a moment on how to phrase it. "do stuff, I could be on top. Maybe." His hand stops for a moment. And he chuckles deeply. I can hear it even though it's muffled by my hair.

"I don't care who's on top as long as I'm with you." His voice shows no signs of deception. "I love you Hiei." He falls asleep It's so comfortable that I also let myself drift off.


End file.
